Relationship Dynamics

This week we will dive into the dynamics of Me vs THEM. But also, we can get jiggy with relating toward the masculine, in all the juicy ways we can. You have full permission to act out your shadows (in a safe container), lust and identify all the polarities you play with and ultimately – take your own inner couple out on a juicy date!

Before we do that, I’d love you to uncover the shadows we both possess in our selves and those we project far onto ‘others’. Our call this week goes into this:

As said, there are multiple components about relationships and dynamics we want to cover. There are also different LEVELS where relating happens. I refer to them often as the ‘personal’ (where we are humans with conditioning and identity and preferences and boundaries), the ‘transpersonal’ (where we transform more into archetypes.. these transcend our personal selves – they have more power because of the lineage of projections upon them. As if acting a role, when we become the archetype, it has very different boundaries and opinions compared to the ‘I’.

And if we yet manage to let go of holding ANY role, any polarity and truly be in the ‘void’ or the ‘dark body’… there is only oneness with life. In that level, deep listening to the ripples of that person enable me to just BE, absorb and feel their sensitivities without judgment. That is the deepest place of knowing on an embodied level.

Perhaps it is hard to explain, easier to show, experience and be in…

Meditation on Spirit & Eros

As a balance point to all the shadow hunting and aspecting – I’d love to begin and end with the practice of running Eros in the vertical axis of our own being

Love’s Practices – Relationships

Watching this myself on replay and having *chills*….

Speaking about our Fears, Desires and Boundaries

R elationship – single, married, mono or poly, who does our meeting affect?

B oundaries – physical, emotional, psychological – what are the parameters of our meeting that make me feel safe to explore?

D esires – any specific ideas, fetishes, dynamics that would be exciting to explore

(S exual) Health – STI’s, any known skin conditions that could be contagious, also include any physical injuries that should be considered, any mental health concerns

M eaning (& Aftercare) – Is there an agreed time to the interaction, do we have agreement to follow up, is there anything I need afterwards to come back to my own self?

F ears – any irrational or rational fears that surface, sharing vulnerably about any RISK that you feel you may be taking (including heartbreak).

Practice Part 1: Owning the Masculine Projections

  1. List the men (or masculine-embodying) loves in your life (if you have an uncontrollable, undying obsession about a movie star or such, that can be included) – after their name, also list 3 characteristics that they have
  2. Now just take the characteristics on their own and feel how you would embody them
  3. From all of them together, form your inner sense of masculinity, see if he is an archetype, how would he look like, would you draw him or make a poem about him using those adjectives from before?

Practice Part 2: Aspecting with the Masculine

Additional Resources (**optional!!):

If your work is in the realm of relating – I would highly recommend the first 3 resources!!

The MOST recommended book in this moment I can find is PolySecure – Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy
by Jessica Fern.
I do not promote polyamory for all – but the book goes far and beyond in addressing what relating really is – unpacking so many attachment triggers and situations and models and practices it is a treasure mine for anyone with MULTIPLE ATTACHMENT-BASED relationships (this could be romantic, sexual, parent-child, even close friendships or people we form living community with).
So essentially we all are or will experience situations when we actively engage in multiple relationships (and can work toward making those secure).

And another approach to tending to our inner relationships by another Mystic.

Practice Session 3

This week we will work with another doing the RBDSM+fears conversation – apply it to your circumstance and relationship dynamic.

Besides having that conversation – if an archetypal dynamic is present between you two – the suggestion is to create a scenario to explore that.

This continues last week’s work around creating a ritual container – and can be combined with guiding someone into their own inner journey to integrate an edge/fear/memory etc..

Ultimately, we are aiming at Archetypal Play.

Below are my extensive notes on a session I did with my partner! I wanted to portray that even in existing relationship dynamics, we can play different roles for each other and have genuine conversations about our desires and fears.

apologies that it is a bit hard to hear the conversation! I still think there is value to it.