I happened across a recent podcast speaking about Osho’s own abusive nature within the cult. 

Meanwhile still having conversations about this rope master who claims to be ‘Shibari healing’ and has unfortunately a history of manipulating, breaking boundaries and slipping away from accountability or confrontation.

And the whole conversation of women going back to Jesus as a crutch for their out-of-control chaotic feminine that “needs to find its centre”, in God.

I’m putting the pieces together.

It’s a masculine, consciousness-controlling phenomena – to be so ignorant of your own shadow, to believe your own lies about the behavior, to negate the feminine, the sensual, the subconscious.

Textbook Freud 2.0.

Oh, patriarchy reaches to our spiritual aspirations and ideals? No surprise.

I’ve dated my share of “conscious men” with a neglected/shadowy feminine side. 

It’s subtle. But sometimes a comment just slips out – the sensual, the body, the earth, the horizontal realm of relating is LESS THAN “the pure light of conscious awareness”. 

Gotta go and meditate my emotions away.

But actually, it is a battle of Consciousness vs Awareness.

These 2 terms are often used interchangeably – but I’d like to distinction them. 

Consciousness is clearly a mental phenomena – we close eyes and FOCUS. Yes, emptying the mind is there, calming the emotional waters is there… aaaaand it’s a little bit like a dissociative from reality.

Awareness (to me) is the spreading wide of our senses, the expansion of our capacity TO FEEL, TO SENSE through all of our faculties, to vibrate WITH the universe as a whole. 

To me, Awareness is body-based. It requires me to plug myself into the greater cosmos, and I may sense it through non-verbal cues (instinctual impulses, visuals, gravitational pulls, my senses HEIGHTENED). 

It also makes me highly empathic to the shared experience of being human.

I UNDERSTAND that it is ONE BODY, own big organism, there is no power over – just layers of denial about the oneness and wholeness of it all. 

In so many ways, my emptiness is FULL.

This is what the VOID practice is to me. 

It sits at the core of everything I teach, embody and vibrate out. 

It is not forceful, but it will show you your ego, your doubts, your wounds etc a trickle at a time, slow and steady with your nervous system.

It isnt fast and goal-oriented, more like a female orgasm that best comes through ebbs and flows and surrender of any reason. 

In fact, this feminine path of spirit indeed defies REASON. The mind/consciousness is the polarity to the body/awareness. 

The shiva and shakti right?

Do not make them enemies! 

Do not put one before the other. 

But KNOW that the western world, if not the whole humanity at this point – has overemphasized mental control. And all of the results of that are the fruits we reap. 

Want to get IN TOUCH with the earth (who by the way doesnt “NEED SAVING” – she is a greater being and has compassion for us to keep us around) – get into your instinctual bodily awareness. 

Want to not be accused of ‘being rapy’? Integrate those traumatized, often infantile parts of us that got neglected and suppressed and turned into demonic coping mechanisms.

Want to actually achieve a form of enlightenment? 

Well, stop trying and throw yourself onto the sea of blissful awareness and trust your consciousness as a tool, not the captain. LISTEN, not preach. Love, more.

Anyway, these are just my tools. If you’d like to come experientially learn more of the path of marrying consciousness and awareness – 

Come to VOID in person.

The Embrace of the Dakini – online and inperson covers this path of the feminine buddha, the incarnate enlightenment. 

And yes, theres a book and a course on the more ‘consciousness’ oriented parts of working with the Void. 

PM if you really want to go deep.